~ Step forward ~

Everyone at least once in his life feels the desire to move one step forward. This step, sometimes because of too much desire, and sometimes because of the hasty decisions, ends in the abyss. Some, although aware that they can never return to the old after it, still have enough courage to go into uncertainty. The hunger for some new universes never fades into them. There are few such people. Only they know why they have decided exactly for that step at a certain moment. After a while, they even do not remember it anymore, because after it they make many similar steps. Nevertheless, their courage and determination remain. That’s how they differ from all other people. Regardless of the risks and hazards, they always go forward. They are constantly preoccupied with the conquest of some new ramparts and heights. Marco was one of those who came from a primitive environment to a highly developed civilization. Almost everything, except the desire for success, was foreign to him. He often stood confused before some, for him a completely new, style of life and behavior. He did not even try to adapt to a new environment; he had his own universe in which he was completely satisfied and who rarely left. These were just moments in which he had to be an integral part of the unavoidable family gatherings. Even at those moments he was only present physically, while his thoughts, far from everything, rushed through the big steps towards, only to him, a well-known goal. As he watched the high buildings as they dive into the clouds, at one of the peaks he saw himself standing and holding the world in his palm. Ten years later, he really held it in his palm, and his steps, starting from that day, were very brave and risky. After all, everyone has to start from something. Marco, with only one small laptop in his hands, went to that top, and every day, he checked whether at least he approached it. He knew that he would once stand on it and that with a smile he would observe his tracks, intertwined with the traces of all those passers-by and escorts, which he nevertheless somehow managed to avoid. Avoidance is the word with which he had to wake up every morning, and with the solutions he went to sleep every night. There were no difficult tasks for him. There were only those which he wanted to solve or not. He was moving like lightning through the world of connections and communications. He knew all the omissions and fences that stopped him on his way to the most secure systems which he often visited when their guards did not expect the attack. Marco knew when to attack, and therefore he was always a step ahead of others. Except him, no one with so much passion went into dangerous adventures. Those few who knew him, they knew in his view that a large shark was in sight. At those moments he smoked a lot and went on a fast rides and his eyes became blurry. His face became icy. Nothing could be read on it except for impatience to reach those rare cracks at a time when all the clocks, except his, are late. Marco had never been late because he knew that those who were late sometimes missed their last flights. He did not miss his own, and he knew the shortest and safest ways to his goals. He lived in the gray zone, but he watched everything black and white; he liked to be both. For him, the world was one big network, full of challenges. Because of his love for challenges, he skipped the most beautiful moments in life when a man is only his own and when he belongs only to himself, without caution, suspicion, fear and expectation. He could have been anyone and nobody, but never what he really wanted. He had to belong to people he did not like. It was enough for him not to interrupt him on the road and not to make him move forward. They, however, unconsciously left traces behind him, not knowing they were part of a large network in which each thread leads to a spider. Marco has become one of the largest spiders ever to network. He knew where each thread should be cut, repaired and extended. From these constant cuts and redirects, he never had time for some beauty of the real world. Trapped in virtual waters, he was experiencing all these beauties in the wrong way. Many of the scents, which he took with him for a long way, are disappeared. They were replaced by wishes for conquests. Always go forward are words that never left him. They were perceived in any of his disagreements with defeat. Still, there is always a challenge that must be resisting. His was standing up from the network, non-intricate, his own. Marco never left the network. He stood and watched his biggest challenge with longing in the eyes as it escaped and left him to find the meaning of his life in intertwined threads. He was sinking deeper into the world of darkness and lonely night-time activities. Somewhere in that darkness, his longing was bright, enough for itself to survive and to restore, and he could not touch it, because that step forward would be the one who would end up in the abyss. As long as he was persistent and intelligent, a man could never be able to hold all the threads in his hands. Some of them, from too much tension, are torn. Marco never gave up, but after all the challenges in life he had been unable to resist, he realized that the greatest one is to be simple and free, relieved of all those unnecessary things that plunged into his days like dust. Dust is often imperceptible. It enters into the most hidden chambers, which is sometimes impossible to clean. The only solution is to replace them with new and clean. Marco tried to escape from that dust, which was constantly choking him on the road. The feeling that he must get rid of something has never left him. Despite his full integration into the world of networks, the primitive, which slept deeply in him, would, at times, float as a rare monster from the lake. In those moments he was led only by an instinct, almost always infallible in estimates. However, mistakes are happening all the time, to everyone. He had difficulty reconciling himself with his own. Constantly connected to the network, he forgot that the most important things, however, only happen on the terrain. To much knowledge and conclusions a man has to come alone, just on this terrain. Everyone who does this job for him will surely not do it well. Man’s desires and wishes are complex notions that everyone can interpret arbitrarily, in accordance with their perceptions and views on life and the world, rarely in the right way. Marco had great desires and wishes. With each new win they became even bigger. Nevertheless, each network, once, from the overweight of the catch, splits, and then the biggest fishes begin to escape from it. In the end, it ends up empty at some bottom, or, if it’s lucky, hooks up on a by-passing branch. It’s the same with people. Happiness is not always favorable to them and not all are born to be victorious, but everyone, although sometimes reluctant, meets with moments of life when he has to win to. Only one of these moments can completely change his life if he has enough courage to make the most difficult step and move forward.
Step forward, author Suzana Stojanović, July 27, 2018