~ Spring winds ~

Spring winds have some miraculous power. They often blow away people in an unknown direction, who, as if only then, in the embrace of spring, remember that they are alive. Many then begin to write their first verses and to rejoice in life. They try to become free and smart, and to slow down the time, mostly when they realize that there are not much springs left for them. However, they do not want to reconcile themselves with this fact, and they are constantly living in the hope that some miracle, which will give them a chance to live their lives once more, will happen. They sleep with their eyes open for fear of missing some of these miracles. As they stare in the dark, some new roads and opportunities that they have never seen before have opened up before them. All that has been difficult and unattainable for years, for them suddenly becomes easy and achievable. They think that everything they need to do is just jump and grab it. When the spring winds begin to blow, they suddenly become hungry and voracious. Everything they see, they would taste and eat. Only then, it is the same food that they have eaten for years, becomes tempting and delicious. While irresistible scents are lurking from all sides, they do not know which of them to bow before. They do not refuse anything from what is on the table. Convinced that the chances of a new beginning are all around them, they do not miss either the burials or the commemorations. Obsessed by the fact that they still have enough strength and time for them to remain memorable for something, they do not choose the means to attract attention for a moment. In the high walls, beyond which they are often in their lifetime, without noticing them, pass by, they are scratching with their nails like an agitated beast, trying to leave some traces, which, despite their great effort, quickly disappear under graffiti and posters. They forget about an old Chinese proverb that says that even if it’s a roar, a cat can never become a tiger. Nevertheless, they persistently try to skip high fences and, by accelerated steps, to compensate for all the things that they have been missed over the years, constantly recalling the sentence: “It’s never too late.” It’s too late, but they do not want to see it. They are angry at all those who explain to them that many things in life need to start on time, and that desires are not enough to reach the goal. They still do not give up and play their show even after dropping the curtains. After many years, they for the first time leave themselves to spring winds, convinced that life is waiting for them, and that they still have to show their strength, talents and abilities. They do not notice that these wondrous winds turn around and carry them to the certain end, perhaps for the last time they shake their gray hair and maybe, for the last time, they throw fragrant petals to their souls. They, at only a few steps of certain departure, begin to turn to themselves. Fat and wrapped in wrinkles, they suddenly become beautiful and wonderful to themselves, convinced that the most beautiful moments are before them, that they still have to fall in love and correct their mistakes from youth. All those who have passed through their lives suddenly become guilty of all their failures and unfulfilled dreams. The fact that the development of each individual depends on his abilities, intelligence, talent and the strength of the will for them is a great foolishness. They firmly believe that everything that happens to them in their lives is only a consequence of a series of unhappy and happy circumstances. They are thoroughly questioning their actions and, at the end of that long review, they always persuade themselves that they have acted completely correctly and that everything in their lives was exactly the way it had to be, and that they were only victims of an evil fate. In this long review, they do not impute any mistakes to themselves or their caprices, due to which they often did not see the spring and for which they spent their only youth. Unfulfilled desires wake up with them every morning and persecute them until going to dream, which becomes increasingly difficult over the years. Modest knowledge and even modest culture do not allow them to understand that their ambitions are too big, and the potentials are small. Like birds, which spent their whole life in a cage, released for the first time, they fly everywhere and nowhere stop. Every indication of something beautiful and interesting moves them and intensifies the imagination in them, which, however, remains within the limits of their perception. With the first spring winds, they become mountaineers, parachutists, and helmsmen. Unprepared for many stations where imagination stops, they often end up in bandages. The encounter with defeats provokes rage and even greater desire in them to prove themselves and to defy all those who mock them. Unfortunately, everything has its beginning and end and even spring winds. After them the cold and inevitable come. All windows are closed in front of them. Awakenings become memories. Movements, light, songs and colors disappear before the gusts of loneliness, emptiness, grayness, and disappearance. Those who, just a few moments before, were immodest in their belated ambitions, begin to insist on modesty, which after all have remained the only solace they can capture in the moments of despair. It seems as though they still begin to realize that their power over all that surrounds them is less and that they can only be silent witnesses of the struggle of the great warriors, who, and after them, will clash in the sky under which they once existed. Clouds, storms, lightning and thunderstorms will never disappear and stop. They may exist for bothering those who want to drive them out and free their skies for some warm, spring winds that they have been waiting for years.
Spring winds, author Suzana Stojanović, July 12, 2018