~ Meeting with hope ~

It takes a lot of power to some stories being told. For years, they accumulate in our soul and so trapped waiting for the first opportunity to come to light. My story about one interesting meeting began in one sanatorium. Hidden from view and surrounded by woods, in the mountains away from the city, it was quietly putting people on the path of no return. On this trip I met many of fate, pain, suffering and sorrow, but also courage, perseverance, grit and hope. As it often happens in life, what you persistently seek is often found when you least expect it and in places where you least expect it. In this braid different people and their life stories I found one thread which is tightly connected them, a word that they do not pronounce but which is strongly radiated from their eyes. I have found hope. It stared at me from the forgotten souls, from the quiet hospital rooms, from the babble of the courtyard bench. Now, as I recall moments spent in a sanatorium, I’m not sure if I really meet hope or I just wanted to meet it. Maybe I was just imagining it because of my intense desire to help all these people. They did not want to leave. They wanted to stay a little longer. Faced with the harsh reality, they created a new world made only of moments. Moments were everything they wanted. Relieved of all earthly as exhausting them for years, they did not expect anything, they were just hoping for. They hoped that someday may again start from scratch in a new life. They were looking for pearls at the bottom of their sea, long ago lost. After all they are in a life built they had only each other and maybe one more day. Their mornings were full of light, or maybe after many years the first time they saw the sun in its full glory. It seemed that they enjoy in their meetings and their world made of moments, or it was just a consolation. Few visitors were briefly held, and in fear, pacing, went away from the sanatorium. They were accompanied by helplessly and only one question: “Will we see you again?” There was no time for fear in their eyes. Only hope is governed in the hills away from the city. I loved those people. I loved that place. They generously gave me hope. I selflessly gave them a part of my life. Now, after many years, when they are missing me, I know where I can always find them. When all anchors sink, I remember one that always floats. We can see it only if we believe that there is. I believe and patiently wait for bright days in the hills away from the city. Only one view from the balcony is enough to take me to a world made of moments. From the greenery in the distance shyly emerges sanatorium and evokes the deep lines written by the hard life. For all the weight of uncertainty and suffering ignited something big, something that will outlive many events. Hope was born. While in all its beauty and immensity stretched in front of my eyes, I remembered the words of Žarko Laušević: “How sad it is that a man was not aware of his best moments in his life, I think. In those moments, the man usually immodestly thinks that his luck is only one of the steps leading up to a peak, which has yet to happen to him. At the end, when he knew that after this step led nowhere more, he can only grieve because he vainly hoped for a better and more beautiful the step and because that moment he has not lived with an awareness of its fullness and extremes.” We only had a smile, extended hand and hope. All the rest will disappear sooner or later.
Meeting with hope, author Suzana Stojanović, December 10, 2010