~ Beyond silence ~

From his beginning, man constantly searches for something, most of himself and the essence of his nature. He tirelessly strives to rise to the heights, which makes his life conceivable. Sometimes he feels the need to be aloof, to hang out with solitude, and, so withdrawn, finds a quiet harbor where there are not many ships and noise. Although much in his past had some value, he nevertheless makes the decision to leave it behind. He wants to get rid of all the dark forces and loads that have burdened him for years, in order to establish his inner balance again. At those moments, he’s looking for silence, aware that only it can help him cope with his crisis and find himself again. His thoughts stop in the mirror of deep, calm water, where dense forests and their giant stables, which hold the sky on their backs, are seen. While the sun’s rays and shadows are playing in their big treetops, he is thinking what is beyond them, are people searching for silence there, or fleeing from it? Does everything stop and disappear with it: both excitement, passion, courage, and perseverance, and pain, and yearning, and thunders, and hard days? And just then, when he thinks for a moment that he has found his calm harbor, he becomes restless and curious again. He is wondering what is beyond the silence, what is hidden beyond this invisible wall, in which there is no response to the call. Is there light or is it all endless darkness? Does everything become nothing, do all sins disappear? He is wondering why all the people are rushing on the road to silence and why are they always disappointed when they find it? He comes to the conclusion that our world exists only until its beginning. Everything beyond this, our world, in which life is still lush, becomes an unknown and a fear that we will find out once what is hidden in it. We always associate this unknown with what we have experienced, and we reject the possibility that there may be some other feelings, concepts and worlds that we are not yet ready for. There may be some new words, long and unobtrusive, which we still need to learn. And we, relying only on ourselves, are afraid of the coldness, and we are constantly living in fear that these new words will wipe out all our warmth and feelings. Even some of our known words, torn between oblivion and darkness, never become sound. They constantly become questions that wander to the invisible wall. Every word that touches that wall becomes ice, hopelessness and emptiness, which returns to us as a boomerang. Our beautiful blue planet, trapped in the cage of its own fate, is silent. The echo of its painful scream and disappearance is constantly coming back to it. We, its inhabitants, whenever we try to fly, constantly hit this cage, and we return with broken wings. Silence does not allow our words to move on. It stops them, like a sign on the road, as if it wants to say that they can not go that way, and the man, most of all, liked to go forbidden roads from his beginning. The obstacles always caused even greater curiosity and persistence in him. He is so persistent on his way that he decided to solve one of the greatest enigmas, which is related to all spheres of his life, and which does not give him any peace. Why is there silence? How did it come about? Is it the beginning and the end of everything? Everything around us exists for a reason, and perhaps there is silence for stopping a man and saving him from evil or telling him that everything beyond it is wandering, icy loneliness and an endless emptiness, in which he should not rush. It may be there to help all those people who are silent, or afraid that it will stop if they pronounce its name. Sometimes the fear of the unknown is stronger than every word, and the truth about life is so complex and bitter that it can be expressed only by silence, not by words. A man often finds himself in suffering. In him, a new personality begins to grow, and with it the consciousness that life could be different from the one he knows. Some new spaces, for which only patience was needed, begin to open before him. He feels that he has crossed some invisible threshold and opened the door of his new home in which he will start from the beginning. Perhaps, something he has long since begun, and stopped by pointless questions, he will complete in his new home.
Beyond silence, author Suzana Stojanović, February 12, 2007