~ Sadness in the eyes ~

An old saying says that we find out who we are by what we do, as we find out what we deserve by what makes us suffer. Each man is a star for itself, everything always happens and never and each human being is a sanctity. At the moment of man’s death the whole treasure dies with him and without people, their experience, destinies and events there’s no true history of one civilization, one nation. History is dead, incomplete and empty without them. Empty is also the truth about the complete and definite loss of trace in time that someone has ever existed somewhere, regardless of whether his life was interesting, fulfilled, troubled. With his death the traces of man’s soul as well as his unfulfilled wishes and imagination disappear. A small man is neglected, doomed to eternal anonymity and absolute disappearance in time. Crucifying on the pillar of humiliation, in order not to get hurt, he often had to bow to one side. He lives only as far as there are living beings who remember him. Maybe there was so much he wanted to ask, to say and show, but there was no chance. His questions remained forever trapped somewhere in the dungeons of fear, suspense, darkness, insecurity and trepidation. His words remained to speak silently in his endlessly sad eyes. Wishes were left in the dreams about which he was not allowed to speak. If life is all that is good, then why is it being taken? If it is all that is bad, why is it being given? It is said that a man’s life strength is measured by his ability to forget. Man remembers if he wants to, but he forgets if he can. He may remember love and rainbow after the rain, but he will never forget who is and where his roots are; and when someone accidentally or deliberately hides them, he always finds them sooner or later. It is the core of his being, a smoldering fire in his soul. A man never forgets the bottom he touched, the shadows on the roofs and the song of the devil. It persistently calls him when he is awake and while sleeping. It wants tears and fear in his eyes to confirm its power, but tears no longer exist. The fears were taken by its ominous birds. Behind them there was silence and the memory that they had made noise a long time ago. There remained a faded image of a difficult time, tired eyes and sadness, endless sadness. In just one sentence Ivo Andrić described all the cruelty of life: “Only pain lifts man up to the enormous, endless love towards people.” Is it so? Is there a place for a soul among the stars, a clean, high place where the horror of the Earth doesn’t reach? Will somebody tell the truth or everything must be a secret? In life, there is a line behind which there is no turning back. Beyond it, man doesn’t look for salvation and shelters anymore, he doesn’t sail or sink, he doesn’t wait for the tide and ebb, he doesn’t dream. There are no more fears and expectations. Only pain, memories and endless sadness remain in the eyes and only one question: WHY?
Sadness in the eyes, author Suzana Stojanović, January 12, 2008