Leo Tolstoy, one of the greatest
writers and greatest minds ever gave the greatest ode to friendship in just one
sentence: "If all the streams in the world cheered, if all the seas spoke and
all the mountains sang, they could still not weave the ode to friendship, the
only creation in the universe that is not pure necessity of nature but a hard
alloy of spirit." In that endless universe we are trying to overcome the awful
and vast distance from man to man. That distance is so great that we can
approach each other only by trying really hard, and even our one weakness and
action can drift us apart forever. The distance and long absence affect
friendship, even though we are unwilling to admit that to ourselves and
others. Because people that we don’t see, even if they
are our beloved friends, in time become abstract concepts, and our participation
in their lives becomes more and more rational. Live and deep affection and
emotion can be given only to those who are in front of our eyes. On the other
hand, there is a strange kind of friends that do not leave our homes. They are
always present. At first, they talk, and when they tell all their stories, they
become quiet and doze more and more. They are called "house
friends" and that term is appropriate because they are the friends of the house
rather than the master of the house. They are more similar to
cats than dogs. They spoil us, they forgive us, they brainwash us and they throw
to airwaves precious moments of our short lives for good. And then we realize
that we need a few honest friends and few good enemies in order to succeed. A
false friend, he is the worst and the most dangerous man in our environment. He
is always there when we are right. He grieves over our misery, but he does not
rejoice in our happiness. The wound that he makes never heals. Wise Seneca said
that happiness creates a friend and that misery tests him. How do we recognize a
true friend? It is enough to remember Carl Heinrich Marx and the fact that man
recognizes his true friend after defeat. Do we have to wait to be defeated? Are
we going to afford ourselves the luxury that our real friends disappear forever
in the shadow of our self-love? We must never forget that we get to know our
friend the moment we lose him. They say that only the poor know the real values
of friendship. There is truth in that. It is very simple to make someone happy.
People need no more than true interest. The best thing we can do when our friend
suffers is to share the suffering with him, to be with him even when we have
nothing more to offer but our presence; to find the solution and bring him back
to the right path when he strays; to rejoice with him when he rejoices, to fool
around when he fools around. Life is short, and no matter how serious it
requires us to be, we always need friends to fool around with them, to remember
together. When everything passes, we have only memories left. If there are no
memories, we can never say: "It was worth living." The end of our life is like
the end of a costume ball- participants, being too tired of their false faces,
remove their masks and make-up with such a relief. Everyone then sees who those
people were, those that they shared their lives with. Some of them never took
off their beautiful masks; they skilfully hid behind them from themselves and
others. Those without masks, not so pretty, passed by us quietly like a shadow
and disappeared forever. We don’t remember their faces but we remember their
actions and deeds, after so many years their words echo in our minds. The
weirdest thing is that man understands and realizes himself, his own purpose of
existing at the end of his life...
Friendship or something else, author Suzana
Stojanović, 08.22.2007.
۞
Lav Tolstoj, jedan od najvećih pisaca i najvećih umova svih vremena, u samo jednoj rečenici poklonio je najlepšu odu prijateljstvu: "Da svi potoci na zemlji zaklikću, sva mora progovore i sve planine zapevaju opet ne bi mogli satkati himnu prijateljstvu, jedinoj tvorevini u kosmosu koja nije puka nužnost prirode, nego čvrsta legura duha". U tom beskrajnom kosmosu pokušavamo da savladamo strašnu i nepreglednu razdaljinu od čoveka do čoveka. Ta razdaljina je tako velika da tek sa velikim naporom možemo da priđemo jedni drugima, a samo jedna naša slabost i postupak mogu da nas udalje zauvek. Udaljenost i dugo odsustvo narušavaju prijateljstvo, ma koliko to nerado priznajemo sebi i drugima. Jer ljudi koje ne vidimo, pa bili oni i naši najvoljeniji prijatelji, postaju vremenom apstraktni pojmovi, čime naše učešće u njihovim životima postaje sve više i više čisto racionalno. Živa i duboka osećanja i emocije možemo da poklonimo samo onima koje imamo pred očima. Nasuprot njima postoji i jedna čudna vrsta prijatelja koji ne izlaze iz naših domova. Stalno su tu. U početku pričaju a onda kada ispričaju sve svoje priče sve više ćute i dremaju. Zovu se "kućni prijatelji" i s pravom se tako nazivaju jer su više prijatelji kuće nego gospodara kuće. Sličniji su mačkama nego psima. Oni nas kvare, gledaju nam kroz prste i opraštaju, peru naše mozgove, dragocene trenutke našeg kratkog života zauvek bacaju u etar. Onda shvatimo da nam je za uspeh u životu potrebno nekoliko iskrenih prijatelja i nekoliko dobrih neprijatelja. Lažni prijatelj, to je najgori i najopasniji čovek u našoj okolini. On je uvek pored nas kada smo u pravu. Uvek se sažali nad našom nesrećom ali se ne raduje našoj sreći. Rana koju nam zada nikada ne zaceli. Mudri Seneka rekao je da sreća stvara prijatelja a nesreća proverava. Kako prepoznati iskrenog prijatelja? Dovoljno je da se setimo Karla Marksa i toga da čovek tek posle poraza prepozna svoje prave prijatelje. Da li moramo da čekamo poraze? Da li ćemo sebi priuštiti taj luksuz da pravi prijatelji zauvek nestanu u senci našeg samoljublja? Nikada ne smemo da zaboravimo da prijatelja upoznamo tek kada ga izgubimo. Kažu da samo siromašni poznaju pravu vrednost prijateljstva. Ima neke istine u tome. Veoma je jednostavno obradovati drugoga. Ljudima ne treba ništa više sem malo istinske zaineresovanosti. Najlepša stvar koju možemo da učinimo kada nam prijatelj pati jeste da podelimo patnju sa njim, da budemo sa njim čak i kada nemamo da mu ponudimo ništa drugo osim našeg prisustva; kada greši da pronađemo rešenje i vratimo ga na pravi put; kada se raduje da se radujemo sa njim; kada se glupira da se glupiramo sa njim. Život je kratak i bez obzira koliko ozbiljnosti zahtevao od nas, uvek su nam potrebni prijatelji sa kojima se mozemo glupirati, sa kojima se možemo sećati. Posle svega uvek nam ostanu samo sećanja. Ako njih nema nikada nećemo moći da kažemo: "Vredelo je živeti". Pri kraju života slično je kao na kraju maskenbala: učesnici, previše umorni od svog lažnog lica sa olakšanjem skidaju maske i šminku. Svako od nas tek tada vidi ko su stvarno bili oni ljudi sa kojima je delio svoj mali život. Neki od njih nikada nisu skidali svoju lepu masku, krili su se vešto ispod nje i od sebe i od drugih. Neki bez maske, ne tako lepi, poput senke tiho su prošli pored nas i zauvek nestali. Ne sećamo se njihovog lika ali se sećamo njihovih postupaka i dela, posle mnogo godina njihove reči poput eha odzvanjaju u nama. Najčudnije jeste da čovek i sebe samog, svoj sopstveni cilj i svrhu svog postojanja, saznaje i shvata tek pri kraju života...
Prijateljstvo ili nešto sasvim drugo, autor Suzana Stojanović, 22.08.2007.
