Great works last long, they
make us observe and study them as if it was our first time. We often ask
ourselves: Why do we return to them? Who are the people who can create something
so strong? I've been thinking for quite a long time about one movie made in
1994. It's a special movie, not only because of great names like Anthony Hopkins
and Brad Pitt. The thing I always remember when I think about "Legends of the
fall" is the soothing voice of One Stab and the words I’ve returned to so many
times: "Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they
live by what they hear. Such people become crazy or they become legends..." A
friend of mine has recently told me that one should sometimes listen to their
inner voices. The word "sometimes" is the right word. Maybe we should only
"sometimes" set off into uncertainty - perhaps at times when we deeply believe
in something or when we have nothing to lose, and perhaps being too brave isn't
a very good thing. Some people simply can't run away from their "sometimes" and
from the past, they are constantly coming back to it and waste their whole life.
Milos Crnjanski observed this in a comletely specific way: "The past represents
a terrible, gloomy abyss; whatever goes into that darkness does not exist
anymore and have never existed..." In that darkness we meet various people,
different destinies. We occasionally remember some of them and some we
completely forget. This is a story about a woman whom many people forgot a long
time ago, a story about a tragic destiny and an insignificant human life which
no one didn’t care for. I was a child when I saw her for the last time but that
image remained engraved into my memory. Maybe I remember her because she was
strange, because she dressed and acted strangely and maybe because she was
called "The strange bride". She was always going the same way at the same time.
She was always dressed the same and carried the same purse. Even now, after so
many years, I remember each detail of her clothes, her white scarf and a dirty
white coat, dirty sandals and tights. I remember her red face and big eyes which
hid from others. She was always quiet. Children threw rocks at her and chased
her. The older ones - those who got used to her appearance a long time ago,
didn’t pay attention. I asked many people what happened to her but I didn’t get
the answer. Now, after so many years, I’ve started searching for the data about
her destiny and found not so many of them. "The strange bride" used to be a
beautiful girl. Poverty made her seek her fortune and she found herself working
as a laundress for a wealthy lawyer. There she fell in love for the first
time... Her own brother raped her on her wedding day. Her trauma couldn’t come
to an end. Embarrassed and humiliated, she ran away from everybody. A greater
mental crisis came with years, she turned into a wandering ghost, she lived in
the world which was only hers. And then she disappeared quietly, taking with her
the unknown world she created, all of her sorrow and the life which was hell. A
Jewish proverb says that those who abandon themselves aren’t worthy of
salvation. Is it so?
A strange bride, author Suzana Stojanović, 07.11.2008.
A strange bride, author Suzana Stojanović, 07.11.2008.
۞
Velika dela traju dugo, zovu nas da ih posmatramo i proučavamo kao da je prvi put. Često sebi postavljamo pitanja: Zašto im se vraćamo? Ko su ljudi koji mogu da stvore nešto toliko jako? Dugo sam razmišljala o jednom filmu, nastalom sada već daleke 1994. To jeste poseban film, ne samo zbog velikih imena poput Entoni Hopkins i Bred Pit. Ono čega se ja uvek sećam kada pomislim na "Legende o strasti" jeste smirujući glas One Stab i reči kojima sam se mnogo puta vraćala..."Neki ljudi čuju svoje unutrašnje glasove i žive po onome što čuju. Takvi ljudi postaju ludi ili postaju legende..." Moj prijatelj nedavno mi je rekao da čovek ponekad treba da posluša svoje unutrašnje glasove. Ono "ponekad" je veoma precizno rečeno. Možda samo "ponekad" treba poći u neizvesnost - možda onda kada duboko verujemo u nešto ili kada nemamo šta da izgubimo, a možda nije dobro biti previše hrabar. Neki ljudi jednostavno ne mogu da pobegnu od svog "ponekad" i od prošlosti, stalno joj se vraćaju i propuste ceo život. Miloš Crnjanski posmatrao je ovo na jedan sasvim poseban način: "Prošlost je grozan, mutan bezdan; što u taj sumrak ode, ne postoji više i nije nikad postojalo..." U tom sumraku srećemo razne ljude, razne sudbine. Nekih se povremeno setimo, a neke potpuno zaboravimo. Ovo je priča o jednoj ženi koju su mnogi već odavno zaboravili, priča o jednoj tragičnoj sudbini i malom ljudskom životu koji nikome nije bio bitan. Bila sam dete kada sam je poslednji put videla, ali ta slika ostala je urezana u mom sećanju. Možda je se sećam zato što je bila čudna, zato što se čudno ponašala i odevala, a možda samo zbog toga što su je zvali "Čudna nevesta". Uvek je išla istim putem i u isto vreme. Uvek je bila isto obučena i nosila istu tašnu. Čak i sada posle mnogo godina sećam se svakog detalja te odeće, njene bele marame i uprljanog belog mantila, uprljanih sandala i debelih čarapa. Sećam se njenog crvenog lica i ogromnih očiju koje su se krile od pogleda. Uvek je bila tiha. Deca su je gađala kamenicama i jurila. Stariji, već odavno naviknuti na njenu pojavu, nisu obraćali pažnju. Mnoge ljude pitala sam šta joj se dogodilo, ali nikada nisam dobila odgovor. Sada, posle mnogo godina ponovo sam krenula u potragu za njenom sudbinom i naišla na neke oskudne podatke. "Čudna nevesta" nekada je bila lepa devojka. Siromaštvo je nateralo da krene trbuhom za kruhom i tako se obrela u domu bogate advokatice radeći kao pralja. U tom domu se i prvi put zaljubila... Rođeni brat silovao je uoči svadbenog veselja. Njenim traumama nije bilo kraja. Osramoćena i ponižena, pobegla je od svih. Sa godinama je imala sve veću duševnu krizu, pretvorila se u duha koji luta, živela je u svetu koji je bio samo njen. A onda je tiho nestala a sa njom i njen nepoznati svet, sve njene tuge i pakao od života. Jedna jevrejska poslovica kaže da ko sam sebe napusti nije dostojan spasenja. Da li?
Čudna nevesta, autor Suzana Stojanović, 11.07.2008.
